IPL 2018 Humour: Say Hello to the Indian Political League (IPL)

04:58 PM Apr 20, 2018 |

The 11th edition of the Indian Premier League (IPL 2018) is underway in full flow. But, have you ever wondered how it would be like if there was a team comprising of Indian politicians. Well, it would be as unpredictable as their policies. But, stop wondering! We have done all the hard work, and present to you the Indian Political League. Meet the unique IPL XI.

Narendra Modi. Pic/PTI
  1. Narendra Modi: Since he is the Prime Minister of India, he must be given the honour to open the innings. Modi is an expert at giving hard-hitting speeches, so he can be expected to transform his form with the bat in hand too. Also, a jumla-maker, he can bamboozle if given a ball in hand. That’s not all, as he refers to himself as ‘chowkidar’, he would also be the perfect choice to be wicketkeeper. A true all-rounder in every sense.
Navjot Sidhu. Pic/PTI
  1. Navjot Sidhu: In T20 cricket, one needs power-hitting from both ends. And, who better than Sidhu to do that? His loud, booming speeches are equivalent to big hits in cricket, and he also has the added advantage of having played the game.
  1. Mayawati: The BSP leader would be a good choice for number three. During her speeches, she can go on and on. Her energy and stamina means she is fit to play the long innings at number three. In case, the team loses early wickets, she can ensure the momentum is not lost.
Nitish Kumar
  1. Nitish Kumar: With the top three very dynamic, the team needs someone with a cool head in the middle order. And, here is where Nitish Kumar can chip in. A rare calm and collected politician, Nitish can consolidate either on good start, or after loss of early wickets.
Sushma Swaraj
  1. Sushma Swaraj: If consistency is the benchmark, Sushma Swaraj is definitely one when it comes to dealing with unending queries of people, especially on Twitter, and handling them effectively. This quality makes her a good task manager, and she could be effective in manoeuvring the ball around if needed.
Subramanian Swamy
  1. Subramaniam Swamy: A no-holds-barred politician, Swamy is a motormouth, who can make allegations on any given topic. That makes him the perfect candidate for a pinch-hitter. He can just go in and knock ball after ball.
Rahul Gandh. Pic/ PTI
  1. Rahul Gandhi: With his newfound wit, and ability to take on opponents, Rahul Gandhi has found a versatile side to his personality. Whether it is enough to him to take on Modi in 2019 is too early to say, but he can certainly fit into the role of an all-rounder.
Shashi Tharoor
  1. Shashi Tharoor: The intellectual Congressman often bowls over the less suave politicians as well as the common man with his scholarly talks and writings. We think, he would thus make for a good googly bowler.
Arun Jaitley. Pic/PTI
  1. Arun Jaitley: The Finance Minister should occupy the second spinner’s slot. A lot of what he says actually bamboozles the common man, including his latest statement on how sudden rise in withdrawals led to the cash crunch.
  1. Amit Shah: Undoubtedly, the BJP President should be one of the fast bowlers in the team. Not only does he have the built of a quick bowler, but also the killer looks needed.
Digvijaya Singh
  1. Digvijaya Singh: Congress and BJP may be two sides of a coin in politics, but when it comes to cricket, they can definitely unite. His talks often swing in different directions and, as such, he could provide able support to Shah.
Sharad Pawar

Coach: Having seen it, and done it all, Sharad Pawar is the perfect choice for being the coach of the IPL XI


(Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction, meant for humour purposes only)

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