My wife beats me violently and I take it quietly. I am ashamed to talk about it to anyone out of fear of being viewed as a wimp and, therefore, not man enough. I was raised to respect and look after women and to never raise hand on others, but no one told me that this would go against me. Also, the law is tilted in favour of women, and when I see YouTube videos of the radical feminists resorting to male bashing it frightens me further and I feel terribly alone in my miserable life. My wife literally rapes me, and I cry after the sexual act. I am depressed and feel stuck. What should I do?
Ans: I am sorry to hear what you’re going through. It is important to mention here that bullying is not gender specific. A man or a woman could be both victims and perpetrators depending on the circumstances. The truth doesn’t need to fit a narrative. The truth simply needs to be tied into facts and evidence. You needn’t attack your wife to escape her.
How does one define weakness? Weakness and strength can not only be measured in physical terms. By that logic an ant that can lift its own body weight in material may be stronger than a fully grown elephant.
The ant can potentially kill the elephant too by getting inside its trunk. Power is measured differently in different situations. In most modern societies, all sexes have sufficient veto over their fates and are often only limited by their own imagination and by the access they have to various opportunities.
Your wife has found a way to hurt you both emotionally and physically – so there’s no question about her being weak in any way. There is no need for special labelling or privileges to apply to anyone based on their gender. Why is your wife angry with you – would be important to investigate.
Is she someone who is usually angry with her circumstances and with other people as well? If you are uncomfortable with the current situation, you will have to look at ways to circumvent it.
You are being bullied, physically harmed and even raped and it’s your responsibility to address this unpleasant and disorienting truth even if may not be your fault that you are currently being put through so much. It may turn out that your wife has a mood disorder or personality disorder if she’s put through a psychological evaluation.
While there are no guarantees that your wife may even be amenable to a visit to a counsellor, you must go see one yourself, so that a proper assessment can be made of the threat you face. If you’re willing to leave your wife, that’s going to be a long and tiresome process that involves lawyers, counsellors and money. It’s unpleasant and costly but either way, you’re going to have to ask yourself what you’re prepared to do to address this situation with agility.
Do not trade in your dignity for anyone in this world or else this world will find every creative way to crush your heart and dreams. Radical feminism has been recently on the rise so the onus is on the man to supply proof of the ill-treatment he says he is being subjected to.
A ‘he-said’ and ‘she-said’ could ensue and people will usually side with the narrative that confirms their biases. Any good lawyer will ask you to gather proof of your wife’s erratic behaviour so that you are able to find a way to escape this hostile situation.
Whatever you do, I wish you luck and I hope you get unstuck from this situation.