Why you should enjoy ‘their’ envy

Jealousy is something you earn from people around you as a perk for ‘outperforming’ your own self, or so they think! It may weigh you down a bit, but the truth is that if people hate you but still follow you and keep a close watch on you, then you have arrived! Take a bow and savour your moment of glory with great relish, writes APARNA KAPOOR

All of us in our lives fall prey to negative people around us; of their hatred, envy and jealousy towards us. No matter who you are, what you do or what positive impact you make in the world around you, there will always be haters. They would detest and would like to sign you off at every given opportunity. It becomes difficult to bear it, especially if it comes from someone within your family or friends. But if you are able to identify this negativity heading your way, then it’s time to work on getting such toxic people out of your life in a way that they are unable to affect you in any way.

It’s not about you

It may press you down dealing with negative words, remarks or sometimes even looks. It can even wreak havoc to your own self-esteem to a point that you start doubting your own capabilities. This is when you have to apply the brakes and realize that it is not about you but about the insecurities of those who are jealous of you.

We need to understand that jealousy emerges in people due to the sense of inadequacy with their own selves. They hate you for having achieved what they want for themselves. They are dealing with the underlying issues in their life of incompetency, lack of self esteem, lack of confidence or perhaps even laziness to work towards their goals and aspirations. And it’s surely not your fault.

Detox, avoid & ignore

Just like we accumulate toxins in our mind and body by wrong habits and wrong thoughts, we accumulate toxic people in our life too. They may be anywhere; at home, workplace, neighbourhood or in your social circle. When they haunt you, simply get rid of them. Believe me, there’s no other way. Sometimes it is not possible to actually push them out of your lives but you surely need to shut them out of your mind, and make sure that their negativity does not come back knocking, getting the sanity of your mind or putting your own self-esteem in doubt. Don’t let them control your ways, your mind.

Work on a system where your paths don’t cross theirs and vice versa. Maintain your distance and set up your boundaries with no room for toxic trespassers. Let their snide remarks fall on deaf ears. It is only by ignoring them in every possible way can you hold on to your own equipoise and sanity of mind. Your pity is actually what they need, for they are burning in their own fire of hate and low self-esteem. Let them be. You keep your pace and keep moving ahead. Nothing should pin you down or have any sway over you.


Let positivity be your shield

So the question now would be, how to deal with such people who are part of your world? And yes, sometimes avoiding and ignoring too are not so easy. The answer is simple. Disarm them with your positivity.

You can never control other people’s thoughts, words or actions but you can surely choose your own reactions to their behavior.

The best way would be not to react at all. Let the vicious venom of hate and jealousy just slip off you and your system, not letting it touch the texture of your mind. Your adverse reaction is what they are seeking. Do not give them the pleasure of being successful in what they are trying to do.

Counter each of their negative actions with your positivity.

In fact, you should try and help them out of the vicious cycle of envy – hate – jealousy which they have created for themselves.

Help them understand that if they feel jealous, they are on the edge of a knife. The right move will design their destiny, future and to a big extent their own peace of mind. When the jealousy is brewed in one’s mind, like a strong, deadly acid, it burns the mind in which it is conceived before it goes out and destroys someone else’s mind or soul. This is what you can make them understand.

Instead of obsessing and cribbing over what others have that they don’t, they should refocus that energy into working out how to get there too—or realize that there are places where they have gotten already in their own unique way. Help them sort out their ways to get to their dreams. Help them realign with a positive approach of working towards their own efforts and attitudes instead of cribbing, sulking and judging what others deserve.

Meanwhile you keep your vision clear of doing what is right with the positive attitude and right intention. Let the success not get into your head and make you a proud selfish monster. Do not let the brick bats of jealousy hinder your way in any way. Never doubt or underestimate yourself or feel bad about the jealous people around you. Remember that ‘jealousy is appreciation in disguise’. Accept it and move ahead with a smile.